A funny dead parrot sketch

Roxy: It opened up its cage and went crazy. Pet dabbed the robber's eyes, scratched his face up like he was Tippi Hedren or some shit, and don't you tell me that's not friendship.
Mason: How big was his parrot?
Roxy: I don't know, parrot size.
Mason: Well, a parrot can't take on a full grown man unless that man is a big pussy.
Roxy: I didn't say the parrot won. The robber stabbed it with a fork and killed its owner. The bird's dead.
Mason: So why are you getting a bird?
Roxy: It's not about homeland security, you stupid motherfucker, I'm gonna get a friend!

(Dead Like Me: Curious George written by Peter Ocko)