Not everything is about your friends and stuff
Tuesday 26 June 2007 – 16:51Family (Joss Whedon)

A Tara episode. I should be delighted but unfortunately this more Amends than Doppelgangland. And it is also signals the end of any interest the programme makers had in Tara as a character for the rest of the season until The Body and Tough Love (and that was only to kick off Dark Willow).
The opening scene between the two is sickly though we do get the joy of “vixen” and, gasp!, snuggling.
No! No! You can write a feminist text without making men such bad guys and it is particularly galling when the man in this case (Buffy’s father) has been rewritten so that all older men are bad except Giles and even he leaves…
Xander and Riley play fighting is so cute: “…and are a complete dork.” “Oh, then how come Xander didn’t laugh?” “I don’t know that Taglarin stuff.”
My heart aches for anyone who is insecure and makes a bad joke or a stupid remark – I’ve been there. “Stupid.”
The conversation between Buffy and Xander about Tara seems mean but does make sense: she’s shy, she’s hiding a huge secret, she’s getting to know her new girlfriend: they don’t know her at all and she’s a lesbian Wiccan. It really won’t be “the most thrilling social event of the season.”
Spike and Harmony having sex: poor Adam will have his eyes closed for quite a bit this season (I’m kinda hoping he’ll have lost interest by the middle of season six).

The metaphor couldn’t be clearer: “It, it doesn’t feel evil, sir.” “Evil never does.”
One scene doesn’t sit right with me and that is Willow leaving Tara alone. Tara is clearly upset and snaps at Willow and Willow doesn’t put up much of a fight as she buggers off. It feels contrived just so Tara can cast as spell on all the Scoobies. (And she seems to get to the Magic Box really quickly.)

Future Oscar nominee sighting: the scene between Tara and Beth is superb and I still wince when Beth calls Tara a bitch. And this doesn’t seem that unreasonable: “Don’t you see how out of control you are? You’ve been lying to these people for a year, and now you’ve put a spell on them, is that right? Is that a human thing to do? Now I’m telling your father. If he doesn’t force you to come home, and I think he should, I know he’s going to tell your friends the truth. If I were you, I’d tell them first. And then I’d tell them good-bye.”

The fight in the Magic Box is well done. “I’ve already been injured once this month!” But why does Mr Maclay fall over?
“You want her, Mr. Maclay? You can go ahead and take her…You just gotta go through me.” “What?” “You heard me…You wanna take Tara out of here against her will? You gotta come through me.” “And me!” “Is this a joke? I’m not gonna be threatened by two little girls.” “You don’t wanna mess with us.” “She’s a hair-puller.”

“We’re family.”
I usually have a heart of stone over scenes like the following but what the hell: “I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me about your family and all that.” “I was just afraid if you saw the kind of people I came from, you wouldn’t wanna be anywhere near me.” “See that’s where you’re a dummy. I think about what you grew up with, and then I look at what you are. It makes me proud. It makes me love you more.” “Every time I…even when I’m at my worst…you always make me feel special.” “How do you do that?” “Magic.”

Some complain that Tara’s family is one dimensional but I think they are painted rather richly in such a short time on screen. And let’s face it, Tara wouldn’t be Tara without a one dimensional family to beat her down and make her so. Cousin Beth is appalled by Tara’s actions and who can blame her? Tara gets to escape and do what she wants, live how she wants while Beth has to conform and be stifled and that hurts.

Alyson Hannigan/Willow has been annoying me this season being unconvincing and irritating. She is better in this episode because she has a bit more to do: her disappointment when Tara doesn’t introduce her to her family and her angry “I know that!” are two highlights.

Amber Benson is gorgeous throughout even in that skirt and top at the end. But that’s irrelevant. She gives a rather wonderful performance (Joss really really gets the best out of her): her embarrassment at being a dork, her stutter returning, her tears, her cringing, her delight and her new found courage.
I’m unhappy with what Tara did in Goodbye Iowa because she could have been responsible for people’s deaths. Ditto in this and the gang are awfully forgiving of such reckless behaviour, family or not. Considering how she is later portrayed as being the moral centre of the gang it is strange that such uncharacteristic and foolish behaviour is whitewashed. It can be argued that she was scared and wasn’t thinking straight but I feel her morality should have overridden her selfishness. It’s also a problem that Willow doesn’t seem to mind at all that Tara lied to her for so long. I would be less forgiving and I certainly would have brought it up later in any argument…(I’m looking at you Tough Love). It should be a real difficulty for fan fiction writers but most of them ignore it. So if you know a good fiction which explores this sticky moment then let me know.

9 Responses to “Not everything is about your friends and stuff”
While I agree with your overall assessment of “Family,” I’m afraid I disagree with almost every other point, which is more a matter of taste than anything else.
I actually like the first scene of this episode because I enjoy seeing Tara be silly in a confident rather than awkward way with Willow, though I could do without all of Alyson Hannigan’s baby-talk. (I heart Aly to pieces, but after a couple of seasons Willow’s breathy, child-like way of talking began to grate a little.)
I really dislike how men, especially father figures, are demonized on ‘Buffy.’ I think that Willow is the only main character — whose parents didn’t die hundreds of years ago — who does not have daddy issues. I also don’t think that Tara’s family is particularly one-dimensional given their small amount of screen time, but I wish that they weren’t portrayed as hicks. Conservative, child-repressing families live in urban areas too.
I like Xander and Riley fighting — I think the few times I could stand Riley were when he was with Xander. But I can’t stand Buffy when she is talking to Xander about Tara. Xander seems sweet and like he is trying to understand, but Buffy… “It isn’t exactly the most thrilling social event of the season”? Like her birthdays go so well? But this exchange was a small opportunity to address some awkwardness that Buffy and Xander might feel about Willow dating Tara, though I wish that the script had delved a little deeper. While I appreciate that Willow announcing that she was dating Tara did not cause much of a fuss, I think that not making any fuss does a disservice to the characters and their relationships. While I think that Buffy’s initial reaction of surprise and then support was appropriate, I think that it would have been appropriate for some follow-up weirdness.
I don’t think Willow leaving Tara alone seems contrived. I think that Willow was just trying to give her some space. And I don’t know if it’s the editing or the writing, but I don’t like the scene between Tara and her cousin Beth. I just don’t feel like it creates enough momentum to get Tara to The Magic Box for the climax. And I guess I also don’t understand Beth’s motivation for being there. Does she not think that she will become a demon herself?
Generally I like Whedon-penned scripts, but he also has a tendency to overwrite, which I think is the case with this episode. I hate hate HATE most of the big confrontation scene in The Magic Box. Why does Mr. Maclay fall down? It’s like the actor accidentally tripped and the editor decided to use that take for some reason. It’s very odd. Anyway, that scene goes on forever, but it doesn’t manage to be very interesting until the end. I agree that Buffy & Co. are very forgiving of Tara almost getting them killed, even though they seem to understand that her spell didn’t work exactly how she intended and that Tara was just scared. Because Tara’s storyline was intended to parallel Buffy negotiating her feelings toward Dawn, I think that I might have found the ending more convincing had Dawn stood up for Tara first and her words affected Buffy enough to cause her to support Tara. Or something like that. The “She’s a hair-puller” exchange is very cute.
As for the last scene at The Bronze, if the dialogue had stopped after Willow’s line “See, that’s where you’re a dummy,” and no one had floated it would have been perfectly fine rather than sappy. While Buffy was always a little melodramatic, season five featured an excess of treacly sentimentality, and unfortunately Tara and Willow’s relationship became the repository for much of that sensibility.
Amber Benson does do some nice work in this episode. I especially like the “I’m not a demon.” “You’re not a demon.” “He hurt my nose.” exchange between Willow and Tara. I do like the warmth between those two that is evident in this episode. Word about Alyson Hannigan’s delivery of “I know that!”
By nullasalus on Sunday 1 July 2007 – 23:50
Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I think we are on agreement on most things but differ in the detail – which is the joy of BtVS.
I wonder if Willow would have had father issues if we had ever seen him (which is in itself an absent father issue).
My re-viewing of season five has revealed a lot of weaknesses such as sentimentality and inconsistent characterisation that I passed over/ignored first time round and so far it is definitely my second least favourite season.
By Hazel on Monday 2 July 2007 – 11:53
Yes, I suppose one could say that Willow does have an absent father issue, but does it count since she doesn’t seem neurotic about it? She mentions her dad a couple of times, so it seems that he is around. We just don’t see him on screen. You know, I’ve always been curious about how Willow explained to her parents about moving into Buffy’s house in between seasons five and six. For an only child, Willow doesn’t seem very connected to her parents, which has not been my experience. Now that I think about it, Sunnydale seems to be populated with only children. Tara had a brother… Did Riley mention siblings once? I don’t remember. Oh well. Amazingly, I don’t really care about Riley factoids. He likes to drive. I remember that.
Oh, and I meant to say in my previous comment that I also think that Willow was more apt to leave Tara alone in her room to do her spell in “Family” because she was a little hurt that Tara didn’t introduce her to her family earlier in the episode.
Season five ties with season seven as my least favorite seasons. Which season is your least favorite? A lot of people criticize season six, and while I definitely don’t think that it has near the quality of seasons two or three, at least the entire season wasn’t a complete standstill as seasons five and seven were. And as you mentioned, season five had really uneven characterization. I can only think of “The Body” as a real stand-out episode. I don’t even like “The Gift” that much. Maybe I would enjoy it more if I understood A) how Buffy gained the information that the monks had used her blood to make Dawn and B) how Buffy’s blood could close the portal even if that information were true. With all the fuss Glory makes about finding The Key, you’d think that the portal could tell the difference between Key blood and non-Key blood.
Yeah, I’m babbling a lot. I hope that’s OK. I’m in the process of rewatching the series myself and it’s nice to have a place to share my thoughts.
By nullasalus on Monday 2 July 2007 – 17:34
Please continue “babbling” (though you aren’t). I just love talking and reading about BtVS so I am delighted to read what you have to say.
Siblings are very absent from BtVS until season five anyway
I wonder if Joss is an only child?
Your remark about Willow being in a huff had crossed my mind before. It would make sense for me if Tara’s thinking “Please just ask me what’s wrong.” (I’m a guilty party when it comes to expecting to be asked what’s wrong rather than just saying) and Willow’s thinking “Fine, be like that. I wasn’t even good enough for an introduction.”
Unsurprisingly, season seven is my least favourite. Even without the whole Tara thing and the neutering of Willow, it was a series running out of steam but at the same time wasting opportunities. Any time Andrew was on the screen was a waste of time for, say, some proper development for Dawn or Anya or Xander or Giles or, indeed, anyone else. I can’t say the Potentials worked as an idea for me either.
I think season six has a major problem in magic equalling addiction and I found the Buffy and Spike relationship interesting though not always a pleasure to watch. In addition, Tara gets to be more than an appendage.
Today, my order is three, two, four, six, one, five and seven.
By Hazel on Monday 2 July 2007 – 19:35
Oh, I have so much I could say in response to your comment, however I’ll save most of it for when you get into seasons six and seven. But I will say word to your point about Tara. In seasons four and five… You know how Buffy has her stake and it’s like her slayer prop? Well, Willow has her Tara, which is her gay prop. While I like her fine in those earlier seasons, Tara gets to be an AWESOME, fully textured character in season six.
I think my season order is three, two, one, six, five and seven. While season one is weaker than season six in terms of an arc, I at least enjoy the characters, I feel like I’m watching Willow and Buffy kick themselves in the balls repeatedly whenever I watch season six.
By nullasalus on Tuesday 3 July 2007 – 7:32
Oops, I left out season four. Is it weird that I realized that fact as I fell asleep last night?
Three, two, four, one, six, five, and seven
By nullasalus on Tuesday 3 July 2007 – 13:27
I did wonder where four had got to. We almost match.
By Hazel on Tuesday 3 July 2007 – 17:15
You know, I was thinking. Do you think that Tara’s supposed demon nature could have been another metaphor for lesbianism? Like, maybe Tara’s mother came out to Tara’s father or cheated on him with a woman and he manipulated her into staying with him? He didn’t want his daughter to turn out like his wife, so he made up a story about demons instead to keep her on a short leash as she grew older.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m reaching. I don’t have a lot of evidence to support my theory.
By stephanie b on Sunday 22 July 2007 – 19:50
BtVS is metaphor-rich and I see no reason why that’s not a possibility and sounds like a subject for some fan fiction.
By Hazel on Monday 23 July 2007 – 12:13